We are leaving for California in 2 days. Ethan is not doing well. He is really scared. He has been wetting a lot, which is somewhat unusual. It's clues like these that help us see how regulated or dysregulated he is. I know he's anxious, and we're trying to give them all the information that we can to help them not be scared.
This morning I told him that we would keep him safe in California and that mommy and daddy would be with him the whole time to keep him safe. Then he said it..."My real dad is in jail in California."
Oh, it never occured to me that, that would scare him. He doesn't know his biological dad, but he does know he's in California. He was in prison for something, we don't know what. Devon's last memory of him is a big fight with his biological mom and a knife. So Devon tells everyone that he tried to kill them. He has also been convicted of sexual misconduct with a minor child under the age of 14. His conviction is not related to the boys. He may have perpetrated on them, but it has not been proven.
No wonder the kid is scared out of his mind and wetting himself...I would too.
I assured him that he will never find Ethan. He is in jail and can't get out and we will NOT visit him. He will never find us in 1 000 000 people and he doesn't know we are coming. He also doesn't know Ethan's new last name, so we will be safe. Mommy and daddy will NEVER let him come near him or hurt him ever again. I was very firm about that. He gave me a hug and went out the door skipping.
Could the solution be that simple? Poor kid. We'll keep reassuring him. Now I'm kicking myself for not thinking of that sooner.
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