Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Character Information
The kid-friendly examples and definitions of the 6 pillars of character are from www.charactercounts.org. Aparently I cannot cut and paste onto this site. The picture was a google image.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Character Education
I know it's the teacher in me. I want a behavior plan for my kids. I love sticker charts and reward systems. I can't help myself. The problem is our therapist doesn't like them. We have tried a couple different ideas and when the reward is not met, there are meltdowns. Which is not the goal. We are also supposed to work for intrinsic gratification, not external. (Doing a good job because it feels good and is right, not because you will get a treat.)
We are supposed to help our kids be successful by meeting them at the place they are in. We are to be praising and loving them in all things. If they scream at us, we are to sit down, hold them and calm them. If they refuse to clean their rooms, we go down and do it with them. We are to be calm and regulating at all times. There are no consequences for behaviors. There is simply an environment of caring and loving parenting at all times. When there is a major issue, we talk it through calmly at a later time when our children can hear us in a loving way. This is the philosophy anyway. Our house doesn't run like this all the time, even though it's supposed to.
Greg and I frequently resist this because we want them to do it by themselves, and expect that they can. When they cannot, we are still bewildered because they have been able to do it for two months, but for whatever reason, one day they can't. I do praise and acknowledge good behavior when I see it, but I am human. Some kids get more praise, some kids are left out, I don't praise every good thing I see, or even the ones I should see. My expectations are different for all my kids because they need to be. I want to be more intentional in noticing good character traits in all my kids.
So here is my latest and greatest reward chart idea. I printed off a poster with the six pillars of good character: respect, responsibility, citizenship, caring, fairness, and trustworthiness. I also printed off some kid-friendly definitions and examples to post. At the end of the day, each child puts a sticker under the pillar they most represented that day. That way, everyone gets a sticker each day and they are coming up with their own ideas about how they showed good character. We can do this as a family after school or at bedtime or after family devotion time. We can talk about the good character we saw in each other, acknowledge and praise it. We can see which character traits are strong, and which ones we need to work on. Hopefully this will be self motivating in seeing places we need to work. Mostly, I hope I remember to do it, or that the kids enjoy doing it so they remind me to do it each night. Wish us luck!
We are supposed to help our kids be successful by meeting them at the place they are in. We are to be praising and loving them in all things. If they scream at us, we are to sit down, hold them and calm them. If they refuse to clean their rooms, we go down and do it with them. We are to be calm and regulating at all times. There are no consequences for behaviors. There is simply an environment of caring and loving parenting at all times. When there is a major issue, we talk it through calmly at a later time when our children can hear us in a loving way. This is the philosophy anyway. Our house doesn't run like this all the time, even though it's supposed to.
Greg and I frequently resist this because we want them to do it by themselves, and expect that they can. When they cannot, we are still bewildered because they have been able to do it for two months, but for whatever reason, one day they can't. I do praise and acknowledge good behavior when I see it, but I am human. Some kids get more praise, some kids are left out, I don't praise every good thing I see, or even the ones I should see. My expectations are different for all my kids because they need to be. I want to be more intentional in noticing good character traits in all my kids.
So here is my latest and greatest reward chart idea. I printed off a poster with the six pillars of good character: respect, responsibility, citizenship, caring, fairness, and trustworthiness. I also printed off some kid-friendly definitions and examples to post. At the end of the day, each child puts a sticker under the pillar they most represented that day. That way, everyone gets a sticker each day and they are coming up with their own ideas about how they showed good character. We can do this as a family after school or at bedtime or after family devotion time. We can talk about the good character we saw in each other, acknowledge and praise it. We can see which character traits are strong, and which ones we need to work on. Hopefully this will be self motivating in seeing places we need to work. Mostly, I hope I remember to do it, or that the kids enjoy doing it so they remind me to do it each night. Wish us luck!
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