Today is adoption eve. Ethan has been doing so good. He told me he is feeling half good and half bad about the adoption...which makes sense. I'm just thankful it's not all bad. When I wake up each kid in the morning, I try to bribe them to get out of bed my kissing them all over their sweet faces and necks. Then I tell them what to expect that day. I woke Ethan up that way and told him that today was the day I was coming to his class to bring cupcakes. Apparently this was not the good news I thought it was. We had come to terms with the idea of this over the weekend. (I bribed him with video games if he would let me come, plus he'd be so popular for bringing treats) Ethan just started screaming that he didn't want me to come, and he's too shy, and I can't come. He was not going to school today. I talked him into it again. I dressed him and coaxed him upstairs for breakfast. Everything was horrible and he hates everyone. Nothing was right in the world this morning.
Last night my younger brother Chris came over to play with the kids and for dinner. Devon is the only one who did any homework. We didn't even look in backpacks last night. Chris comes about once a year, so it's a treat when we get to see him. Homework was put on the back burner last night. This morning I looked in Ethan's backpack and found a thick manilla envelope. His homework was to see the attached envelope. I assumed it was a homework packet, or possibley forms to fill out about name change issues....I was wrong.
When I opened the package, it was a book for Ethan to celebrate his adoption. It was Max Lucado's "You are Special". I own this book, but had not thought to read it to him on this occasion. We sat together and looked at the book and read the first page, which read to Ethan, from Mr. Whiting on October 14, 2009 (adoption day) I am so glad you have a family that loves you. It calmed him right down. He got on the bus with his book, happy as a clam. It was what we needed to calm his fears today.
When I went to school he was thrilled to see me. He gave me a hug, and listened attentively to the story. He was happy to hand out cupcakes and sad to see me leave. Thank goodness for thoughtful gifts at the right time.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Adoption Day Approaches
Our adoption day is scheduled for October 14, 2009 at 1:30 in the afternoon. This is such an exciting day. Greg and I are thrilled it is finally here. Hopefully this will help the boys feel more permanent and help to settle things down.
Ethan has been a wonderful little 4 year old lately. The defiant, screaming child has left for now, although I'm sure he will be back. He is cute and cuddley. He needs to go back and emotionally go through his earlier stages in life, so he wants me to carry him, he likes me to brush his teeth, his likes to swing from our hands. He likes to be sung to at night. It is back to 4 years old and the sweetness that I missed when he really was 4. Although at school he seems to be back to 8.
Devon is sailing along, but he internalizes things so much that it takes an event for things to come out. This morning his fist flew at my neighbor girl over something small. Thank goodness I realize this is not about that incident, but the building of a lot of emotions. Him and I sat and talked this morning before the bus came, with all the other kids outside. He is so pre-teen, and yet still needs so much. He has dropped his guard a couple times and calls me mommy and holds my hand when he gets scared. Which may sound immature, but is huge in his emotional development. He knows that we will keep him safe. He can depend on us and that is exciting to see.
I shared this morning with Ethan that even though we are adopting him as our own child, he will always love his birth mom. He is lucky to have two moms who love him so much. (He added 3 dads, and lots of grandmas and grandpas) I talked about when Josiah was born, that I loved him so much that I couldnt' imagine loving anyone else so much. But when Sydney was born I loved her too. And when Devon and Ethan came I had so much love in my heart that I loved them all. Four kids who I love so much. My heart is so big for all this love. His heart is big enough to love 2 moms too.
I think this helped. He finally agreed to let me bring cupcakes to school on Tuesday to celebrate this exciting day and to share a little bit with his class about adoption and what that means. He did tell me he was embarrassed, which is understandable. I told him we just wanted to share with the kids how lucky he is.
We will see what Devon thinks about treats for his class...
I am feeling so blessed this week with the wonder of adoption. What a gift. Even though there are long, hard days, Wednesday I will remember forever as a day that I am given such a huge gift. The gift of children. Even if their journey has been too hard and too long for any child to go through. I'm thankful to thier birth mom for giving me these two very special gifts.
Ethan has been a wonderful little 4 year old lately. The defiant, screaming child has left for now, although I'm sure he will be back. He is cute and cuddley. He needs to go back and emotionally go through his earlier stages in life, so he wants me to carry him, he likes me to brush his teeth, his likes to swing from our hands. He likes to be sung to at night. It is back to 4 years old and the sweetness that I missed when he really was 4. Although at school he seems to be back to 8.
Devon is sailing along, but he internalizes things so much that it takes an event for things to come out. This morning his fist flew at my neighbor girl over something small. Thank goodness I realize this is not about that incident, but the building of a lot of emotions. Him and I sat and talked this morning before the bus came, with all the other kids outside. He is so pre-teen, and yet still needs so much. He has dropped his guard a couple times and calls me mommy and holds my hand when he gets scared. Which may sound immature, but is huge in his emotional development. He knows that we will keep him safe. He can depend on us and that is exciting to see.
I shared this morning with Ethan that even though we are adopting him as our own child, he will always love his birth mom. He is lucky to have two moms who love him so much. (He added 3 dads, and lots of grandmas and grandpas) I talked about when Josiah was born, that I loved him so much that I couldnt' imagine loving anyone else so much. But when Sydney was born I loved her too. And when Devon and Ethan came I had so much love in my heart that I loved them all. Four kids who I love so much. My heart is so big for all this love. His heart is big enough to love 2 moms too.
I think this helped. He finally agreed to let me bring cupcakes to school on Tuesday to celebrate this exciting day and to share a little bit with his class about adoption and what that means. He did tell me he was embarrassed, which is understandable. I told him we just wanted to share with the kids how lucky he is.
We will see what Devon thinks about treats for his class...
I am feeling so blessed this week with the wonder of adoption. What a gift. Even though there are long, hard days, Wednesday I will remember forever as a day that I am given such a huge gift. The gift of children. Even if their journey has been too hard and too long for any child to go through. I'm thankful to thier birth mom for giving me these two very special gifts.
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